Oh hey, remember that time I was on national television competing for the title of Miss USA? That statement still seems ridiculous to me as the whole experience feels like a dream more than my reality. Almost 3 months after the pageant, I now feel ready to reflect on that adventure.

I’m not sure how other queens from the class of 2013, or past  title holders felt after coming home from the Pageant, but I had a very difficult time adjusting. I spent a good month eating my feelings and watching Gossip Girl from start to finish on Netflix. The hardest thing was accepting the fact that it was over. For an entire year I had one main focus – Win the crown. I was working out, eating right, taking walking lessons, creating my wardrobe, and bettering myself in any way that I could. While it has never been my ultimate dream to be Miss USA, when the opportunity was dangling in front of my face, I decided to wholehearted reach for it.

The 2 and a half weeks I spent in Las Vegas for the Miss USA Pageant were the best of my life. We had very long days, and I went through about 20 pairs of false eyelashes, but I was waking up every day and doing work that I loved. Photo shoots, sponsorship events, interviews, rehearsals, and dancing didn’t feel like work to me. My biggest disappointment was not coming home without the Miss USA crown. It was coming home and thinking, what now? Having to go back to my day job, and being unsure about what the future holds is daunting. But, being the eternal optimist that I am, I know that things happen for a reason. Let downs aren’t really let downs. They’re more like set ups for the amazing things coming my way!