Why Doesn’t Oscar Like Me?

Celebrities are as sensitive as children when it comes to losing, except maybe worse, because kids only cry, while adults cry foul.

I love watching the Academy Awards. The fashion, celebs, speeches, and tweets make for a truly enjoyable evening. Until the next morning, when my hangover is exacerbated by the deafening opinions of those who can’t lose gracefully.

And so, I offer these words of wisdom to those who leave the event full of Veuve and sadness. Theatrical talent is not quantifiable. A great performance is perceived by the audience member based on their own experiences, feelings, and judgement. No trophy is given to the actor who sunk the most tears, or passed the most laughs. Do we give athletes awards just for playing a particularly difficult game or sweating the most through the process? Of course not. But by the standards of those critical of the Oscars, we should, because it’s the right thing to do.

The fact that professionals are placing such value on an award that has no measurable value is not only lame, it’s disturbing. We all want to be recognized for our hard work, and one would think a paycheck with numerous zeros would be enough. A nomination from the Academy is truly the icing on the cake that no one eats — because carbs. But when the possibility of taking home the cake doesn’t come to fruition, sore losers and social crusaders alike, tear that cake apart and fling it all over the room.

Now, might the academy be biased, political, and uneducated in their choices? Of course. The suspicion is correct because such is the trend of it’s larger counterpart, Hollywood. It is a business. The goal is to make money and expand it’s empire. Typically if one does not agree with standards and practices of the business, it’s time to resign. But no one quits Hollywood. No one swears off award shows or movies. Instead, everyone just gathers around the Perrier filled water-cooler and complains about their boss, because it feels so much better than hurt feelings.

I for one, look forward to a future full of acceptance speeches that I never get to deliver. What can I say? I love rejection. I find it easier to carry than a trophy.

19 thoughts on “Why Doesn’t Oscar Like Me?

  1. I think nights like the Oscars, or any award show, bring out the true motivations of why people are in show business. Acting, like anything, should be cathartic personally because we love to do it. Goes back to the whole thing of if you love what you do you don’t have to work a day in your life. I love when the Oscar cameras catch someone’s face all posses off they didn’t win….then you know it was about the fame and not about the process.

  2. I think nights like the Oscars, or any award show, bring out the true motivations of why people are in show business. Acting, like anything, should be cathartic personally because we love to do it. Goes back to the whole thing of if you love what you do you don’t have to work a day in your life. I love when the Oscar cameras catch someone’s face all pissed off they didn’t win….then you know it was about the fame and not about the process.

  3. JoNo, you ARE already a winner!!!! You single-highhandedly saved Red Eye (my favorite show), you are now making Hannity somewhat tolerable, and dammit, you look nice (especially in the ‘leg chair’). You’re beautiful and bright and you may even have a spare room for me to stay if I ever miss a connecting flight in NYC. (Best to keep some pizza and and egg rolls in the fridge just in case on that last one.)

  4. There is only one person qualified to judge the talents and performances of any artist, regardless of what industry they are in. Can we please eliminate the Academy once and for all and just let Kanye West tell us who deserves to owin these awards?

  5. Rejection makes one feel bad but if it’s another person’s rejection we express sympathy but then say to ourselves, “who cares? It’s not me”

  6. I don’t relate, pretending for a living is not something I place I value on. Honestly the last movie I saw in theaters was LaBamba in 1987. Against my will, I watched the movie Dumb and Dumber and laughed my azz off. Comedy is something I do value, however after hearing Jim Carey’s views on guns, I am reminded, he isn’t someone I really wanna know. Hollywood offers very little, I would however, like to meet the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty or the Brown family of Alaskan Bush People, but they won’t get an Oscar cause they aren’t being paid to pretend.
    Reality good, pretense bad.

  7. All those rich people need to be paid about 1/4 million at the most and the rest goes into a health care system along with the CEO’S. The government needs to be done away with and let people rule and those appointed in leadership positions need to be paid about 60,000 a yr. We as people need to make the laws not them. Give them a 401 like everyone else. Sports and entertainment people the same put all excess money in a health care system, security in our country and modernize our transportation system

  8. I don’t pay much attention to those awards shows. If I like a show or movie then I don’t care if it wins an award or not. I love Red Eye. I have no idea if it has won any awards or not. Because of my DVR I get to watch it every day. You, Greg, and Andy are great on that show. In my opinion it should win an award. If it doesn’t then… oh well. I’ll still watch and enjoy it.

  9. I dont think yu have a chance since your name is too hard to pronounce and that scares them. To boost your career I suggest you change your name to just one name….like Elvis, or Madonna or Ellen. I think you should change it to ZOLTAN. That will give your public a high percentage name recognition. What the heck is a Nosuchinsky anyway? My mom was Polish and it sounds like something she would yell at me when she got mad. BTW you have a killer bee smile and are quite brilliant for a midget. Your hero.

  10. Not much difference, really, between Kanye and a bunch of Hollyweird types. He’s just a bigger douchbag than most.

  11. Well, plenty of people quit Hollywood and plenty ignore the awards (Woody Allen for one). Love you on RedEye. One favor – some guests like recently on May 21 Kathryn Timpf – talk over other peoples responses. The host will say, JoAnne, do you think X? As you start to respond, Timpf talks over you. I then hear neither of you and she and some others do this all through the show. To get the camera back on them? It’s grating. I know Greg always stopped people (Lori Rothman just talked and talked even through Greg’s intros) from interrupting, and perhaps the producers think it makes it more exciting to have people interrupting, but it’s not. You hear no one and it makes RedEye sound like the View (squawk! squawk). Keep up the good work! Go Rider! : )

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