Back-To-School Barbarism

Ah yes. Back to School. Summer is coming to an end which means we will soon see the re-birth of Ugg boots, pumpkin flavored everything, and news stories that coat campuses in a veneer of victim-hood.

The outrage has started early this year, even before the first sip of pumpkin-spice latte could touch consumers’ lips. Fraternities are …wait for it… fraternizing with their schools’ newest students.(Read article here.) Many have been photographed hanging signs and sheets outside their homes, welcoming freshman women to campus in a special block calligraphy that can only belong to an adolescent male. While I appreciate their attempt at crafting, this is certainly not a project that the brothers picked up on Pinterest.

“Freshman Daughter Drop-off” seems to be the overwhelming favorite among guys who have never learned the act of subtlety. A close second is “21 to Drink, 18ish to spend the night” which was the brainchild of the kid who always has to talk to the cops when they show up to his house party.

These half-humorous attempts to re-create the plot to every college based rom-com should be just that, worthy of half-a laugh. Unfortunately, those with eyes and an over-active set of thumbs have taken to social media to express their outrage. They then go home, suffering from exhaustion to watch American Pie for the hundredth time. Because suddenly, it’s all too real. The threat of living in a world with misogynistic jack-asses is in plain sight and it’s too much for those with sensitive eyes to handle.

I for one, applaud the houses that show off their stupidity like a Sloman Shield. Smart women – avoid those homes, for the house is saturated with bad boys. Not all bad, I’m sure, but stupid enough to not stock their bathrooms with the toilet paper necessary for a lady with a full bladder. One would assume that a woman, smart enough to get into college would know to avoid such nightmares. Especially these girls’ parents. I wonder if the parents who aim to shut down these fraternities doubt their own abilities? Did they not instill in their offspring the values and common sense necessary to avoid situations like these? Good parenting should encourage a young woman to make her own choices –the ones that are best for her.

News flash parents, the world is full of metaphorical fraternities, and not all of them wear signs.

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